Crazy one liners

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WebFeb 10, 2024 · 6. My wife told me she’s sick of me pushing her around and talking behind her back. I said, “Well, you are in a wheelchair.”. Never thought I would thank someone for pushing me around. 7. I hate people who don’t wear masks, they make me sick. Of course, there’s going to be a coronavirus joke in here somewhere! 8. WebOct 22, 2024 · Because he had a ton of sick beets. I only seem to get sick on weekdays. I must have a weekend immune system. My friend was showing me his tool shed and pointed to a ladder. “That's my stepladder,”...

101 Funny One-Liners — Best One-Liner Jokes - Parade

WebAug 21, 2024 · 01 of 24 Did Not See That Coming Via Getty Images/EvanKafka. "Dad comes to his son and tells him he's adopted. The boy screams. 'I knew it! I wanna see my real … WebAug 28, 2024 · And that’s just in the hot dogs.”. – David Letterman. “I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks.”. – Steve Martin. “I have a lot of growing up to do. I realised that ... clearbearing

200 Best Dad Jokes of All-Time - Corny Puns and One-Liners - Men

WebJan 22, 2024 · “All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.” – Steven Wright “Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.” – Steven Wright “Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.” – Steven Wright “Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.” – Steven Wright WebApr 11, 2024 · A robber held up a well-dressed man, pointing his gun and yelling, “Give me all your money!” The man replied, “Don’t you know who I am? I’m a U.S. congressman!” The robber retorted, “In that case,... WebApr 20, 2015 · 1. Smokey [to Craig]: “I know you don’t smoke weed, I know this; but I’m gonna get you high today, ’cause it’s Friday; you ain’t got no job… and you ain’t got shit … clear beard

50+ Funny One Liners To Tell Friends Thought Catalog

76 Funny One-Liners and Jokey Zingers to Keep Kids on Their …

WebOct 17, 2009 · 1. I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness. 2. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to … WebSo enjoy this collection of 80 funny one liners! Clever Jokes A snake walks into a bar. The bartender says, “How did you do that?” One Liners and Short Jokes When I see lovers' … clearbearofficialWebJan 23, 2024 · Ninety percent of the people in this city hate carpeting. The other 10% just hate your carpeting. 3. Real Estate Laughs. Real estate agents need to laugh at their problems. Everybody else does. 4. A Wiseman Once Said…. The only problem with being on time for your showings is that no one else is there to appreciate it. clear bearbrick

"" - Crazy one liners

Crazy one liners

WebMar 25, 2024 · Here are 40 hilarious one-liner jokes guaranteed to put a smile on both of your faces. Funny One-Liner Jokes I asked the IT guy, "How do you make a … WebJul 23, 2024 · Think of it as Seinfeld versus Chapelle: Both are funny, but only one comedian can play in the background while your 10-year-old is still awake. With that in …

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WebA one-liner, also known as a punchline in some cases, is a truly remarkable form of a joke. First of all, it is so short that by telling it, you’ll never miss the ‘magical moment’ and will … WebMar 8, 2024 · When you read them, think me, a mic, my bipolar, anxiety and psychosis at bay, and a very kind audience. No hecklers, please. Well, hecklers be damned. If I can …

WebI'm great at multitasking. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once. One liner tags: life, time, work 83.12 % / 1376 votes. Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water. One liner tags: life, sport 82.93 % / 5154 votes. WebJun 16, 2024 · Here are some funny one liners to make you laugh: 1. “Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody can be both a winner and a loser at the …

WebJun 8, 2024 · "What do a tick and the Eiffel Tower have in common?" "They're both Paris sites." "What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie?" "Sofishticated." "How do you follow Will Smith in the snow?" "You follow the fresh prints." "If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?" "Pilgrims." "I thought the dryer was shrinking my clothes. WebMar 22, 2010 · Top 100 funniest one-liners 1 I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness. 2 Do not argue with an idiot. …

WebMar 4, 2024 · Best One Liners Ever With these best one liners ever, you can find yourself laughing like a crazed hyena. Moreover, they can always help you avoid silly moments of …

1. My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down. 2. I went to buy some camo pants but couldn’t find any. 3. I failed math so many times at school, I can’t even count. 4. I used to have a handle on life, but then it broke. 5. I was wondering why the frisbee kept getting bigger and bigger, … See more 21. Russian dolls are so full of themselves. 22. The easiest time to add insult to injury is when you’re signing someone’s cast. 23. Light travels faster … See more 41. The future, the present, and the past walk into a bar. Things got a little tense. 42. Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. … See more 81. A Mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of three. He says, ‘Uno, dos…” and poof! He disappeared without … See more 61. If attacked by a mob of clowns, go for the juggler. 62. The man who invented Velcro has died. RIP. 63. Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular. 64. A dung beetle walks into a bar and asks, ‘Is this stool taken?’ 65. … See more clear beard trimmerWebCRAZY BUGS BY IGS CHERRY MASTER 8 LINER PCB FRESH PULL! WORKS. $119.99 + $15.00 shipping. NUDGE A BUG BY IGS 8 LINER CHERRY MASTER PCB WORKING! ... Click to enlarge. Hover to zoom. Have one to sell? Sell now. Shop with confidence. eBay Money Back Guarantee. Get the item you ordered or get your money back. Learn more - … clearbearing vermontWebJun 29, 2024 · Best jokes from comedians “Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels.” – Tim Vine “Do you know what I love most about baseball? The … clearbeat loginWebOne liner tags: IT, puns 83.16 % / 48 votes. "Doctor, there's a patient on line 1 that says he's invisible." "Well, tell him I can't see him right now." One liner tags: communication, doctor, puns 82.90 % / 2905 votes. I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off. One liner tags: puns, work clearbeat portalWeb11 Clean One Liner Jokes “Money talks. But all mine ever says is goodbye.” “A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.” “Some cause happiness wherever they … clearbearing essex vtWebApr 7, 2024 · One-Liner Dad Jokes. Southern Living. RIP boiling water, you will be mist. I once wrote a song about a tortilla, but it's more of a wrap. A witch's vehicle goes brrroom brrroom! If you see a crime at an Apple store, are you an iWitness? If the early bird catches the worm, I'll sleep in until there are pancakes. clearbearing incWebJul 20, 2024 · Best One Liners 1. They say money talks but mine can only say goodbye. 2. When I say I am a bad electrician somebody gets shocked and my community still … clearbeat tz